Morning Breath

Ah. My favorite time of the day. Just as the sun peeks through the blinds. Birds are chirping, Murray is snoring, sprawled out happily at my feet. I am all snuggled up in my white sheets, super old comfy quilt and white bedspread. There is something about a white bedspread and white sheets that helps me sleep but I digress.
I know it will happen soon. I check the clock. 6:59 am. In one minute I will hear a thud and then a door slam and then pounding. And seconds later, another thud and a door slam and then 2 sets of pounding feet. "Last one down is a stinky rotten egg." Some days when I hear this I want to cry. (I stay up too late.) But on most mornings, this is my favorite part of the day.
Parker is full volume the second he quite literally leaps out of bed. Lord knows I have tried to teach him how to wake me up with a sweet kiss and a few minutes of snuggling before he goes all Robin Williams on me but to no avail. Garrett is sweet and snuggly but very demanding. "I need my chocolate milk mommy and I want to watch a show." But honestly, how can I get mad when he is holding my hand and smiling at me with that devil grin?
So here's the best part, and what I think I will remember the most about our lazy mornings in bed watching tv. All of our morning breath, Murray included. For as long as I can remember, even when it was just Parker and me in bed with Murray, they have told me I stink. First thing. No, "Good morning Mommy." No, "It's lovely to see you today Mommy." No matter who is first in bed, no matter if Murray and his nasty dog face is next to me they both say, "Mommy, you stink" and act like they are going the be sick.
So naturally I have to defend myself and I can be quite fiesty in the mornings. I don't like waking up, even to the loves of my life but especially when the first words out of thier mouths are insults. So, in my defense, here is why I know it is not me that stinks... just for the record.
First of all, whether it was Parker when he was still in a diaper or Garrett now, morning diapers stink. I really think that is what they are smelling. It is a really strong, gross smell. I literally can not wait until the day of the last diaper is here. Secondly, I believe Murray should get some of the blame because he REALLY REALLY does stink. But seeing as he has cancer now, I refuse to blame him and he can do no wrong because his days are limited. And lastly, as a woman, I never stink. My breath doesn't stink. My armpits don't stink. My farts don't stink. They are crazy. It is not me they are complaining about. I think they stink and just don't want to admit it. They are the ones that brush their teeth in 3 swipes with candy flavored toothpaste and consider a 2 hour swim at the pool in 102 degree weather a suitable bath. They are boys. They sweat. They wear shoes without socks. They are supposed to stink. So nanny nanny boo boo. It's not me!
It cracks me up every single day. Our silly little routine. They are too funny. And now, with Kindergarten less than a week away, I know my days are limited. We will have to get up early and rush around. Well, I will have to get up early. I know for a fact that the boys literally sit and stare at their clocks until it hits 7:00 to come downstairs. I will be the one forcing my feet onto the floor one at a time at 6 AM so that we can get ready in time. No more happy birds chirping as of next week.
I get mad at myself on the days I get annoyed at them for being so loud or just simply awake at 7 am. I should be happy they want to rush down to jump in bed and snuggle with me. Who knows? By next year, Parker probably will think it is lame to even like his mother, much less cuddle with me. Ugh. He will probably start calling me "Mother". So, for the next couple of days, before summer is over and they leave me to go off into the world, (dramatic pause) I will enjoy every minute of our morning breath. Even Murray's.