The Highs and Lows of every Age

Parker and I are slowly making our way through Deuteronomy. I have to say, we have not been reading so much lately, about once a week, because I think there might be a little jealousy going on with Garrett. I'm quite sure that he would not want to sit and listen to the Bible every night even if I tried but watching Parker get to read with me every night is more that he can take I think. More on that later.
Meanwhile, Parker and I had a great conversation about Moses and the Israelites. He asked me why we should fear God, followed by, "I thought we should just love God". I told him of course we should love God but who brings us to Heaven? He said, "God". And then I asked, "who sends us to Hell?" He looked worried and said, "ooh God" followed by a little light bulb. He was worried that God will kill us if we do something bad. The old testament really is hard to explain to an 8 year old. He even said, "Man God was so violent and mean." Its actually a hard concept for me to grasp sometimes so how can I expect him to get it? Anyway, I tried to explain to him that God is always with us and he knows our hearts. We should ask for forgiveness if we make a mistake and that is what sets us apart from those that go to Hell.
He still seemed worried about something. Not to worry, he isn't shy about getting stuff off his mind- in the middle of every sentence I'm trying to read. I just have to stop and let him get whatever off his chest, which are when we have our best talks, and then I can get back to the boring reading. He told me he was worried about his friend at school. He always talks ugly but never seems to get in trouble. Other kids follow him and they get in trouble but this one particular boy doesn't. He was worried that God would not like the way he was acting. But, all on his own he said, "maybe I can show him how to act better so that God won't be upset at him." It makes me so proud that he would think that way. I know he will try to conform and he's probably going to want to be like the cool kids and that he won't always make the right decisions but how awesome would it be if he really takes what we are learning and spread it around. I do pray that he can! With all of the horrible stuff kids are exposed to so early now, these comments of his give me hope and motivation to keep teaching him and eventually Garrett and June.  Definitely a high point for Parker and me.
And then there is my Garrett. I hate to say we are at a low point right now. I'm not sure if its the middle kid syndrome or just not enough attention or what but we are going round and round. His newest phase, along side the whining phase, is lying. I have to write about this, although its so funny I'm sure I won't forget it. So one day after school he tells me that his buddy Ethan was in a wreck and hurt his back that's why he has been absent. I thought, "how awful" and I should call and check on them but got busy and just didn't do it. The next day, some of the moms and I were talking and I told them what Garrett had said. It caused a huge stir and everyone started dialing their phones. Turns out, Ethan had a stomach bug. Awesome Garrett.
So the next day, I saw Ethan's mom and said, "Sorry that Garrett started that rumor about Ethan. He has really been telling a lot of stories lately." She looked at me funny and then asked if we could talk outside. (That's always a great way to start the day!) She told me she wasn't trying to get too personal but she needed to ask me something that Ethan had told her about Garrett. She said that Ethan has come home several times and told her that Garrett is really upset at school because his dad died. (Jaw dropping now.) But that things are getting better because his mom had gotten remarried and they had June together. (WHAT?! Jaw on the floor!) On top of that  his Valentines picture was of him in a tux from a wedding (my friends wedding) and Garrett told Ethan that was from me and my new husbands wedding! (Seriously! Where is he getting this?) With a red face, I told his mom that all of that was a lie and I really couldn't believe it. The best part is when she said, "you know, I should've known that it wasn't true when I asked Ethan how Garrett's dad died and he said that Garrett told him it was...wait for it... a poisonous lizard!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I wish I could say that was the extent of his lying. He tries one at least once a day. Thank goodness he's not a very good liar so I catch him and talk to him about it but it is so exhausting! Between that and the whining, he ties up a good 80% of my day with lecturing and negotiating and fussing. I hope he gets through all of this quickly. I might need to start reading the bible to Garrett, or at least teach him about Heaven and Hell! I love the little bugger but I'm definitely ready for his next great phase!

So Proud,,, and a little embarrassed

Sometimes I think, well, I know actually, that Parker is in another world when we are reading the Bible. But it is actually surprising how much he gets out of it. Two different times this week, he has totally shocked me.
We had been reading about Abraham and Sarah and their son Isaac. The readings took us through tons of other families and descendents and we circled back after a week or so to when Isaac was going to find his wife Rebecca. I asked Parker, "Do you remember when we were talking about Abraham and his son Isaac?" Parker says, "Yes. Abraham took Isaac to the mountain to kill him to show he was loyal to God. He lied to Isaac and said he was going to kill a sheep instead of him and right before he killed him, God spoke to him and told him to stop." I was so shocked! I mean, when I am reading about all of the men and their wives and ALL of the children and funky names, I get bored and zone out, even if the words are coming out of my mouth! I was astonished that he remembered the story during such a boring stretch of what we were reading.
The other time I was so proud (and embarrassed) was at his first communion class. The teacher apparently asked if anyone knew why God sent the flood and why he had chosen Noah to build the ark. Parker said he was the only one who raised their hand and he told them, "God sent the flood because men had been being very bad and he wanted to start over. The men had been taking too many wives and doing all sorts of bad things with them (OMG!) and he chose Noah because he seemed like the only good guy. He had been making the right choices so he trusted him."
I'm so proud that he feels so comfortable raising his hand and talking about this stuff and, again, that he is understanding it all but I just have to wonder if his teacher is like, "what all did your mommy tell you about "all the bad stuff" the men were doing!" I try very hard to sensor what I am reading to him but I know one of these days I'm gonna let a "intercourse" or "sex" or something slip out. Genesis is bad!

God takes up my Whole Heart

Garrett decided to join us the other night during our Bible reading. I either need to let him do it more often and teach him to listen and behave (a good mom would probably try this) or never let him annoy us through another reading again! Either way, it was a pretty boring reading again and they were both wiggle worms. Much more interested in nudging each other and playing with their stuffed animals. Even with all of that going on, we still ended up on a good note. The final prayer at the end was something about finding place in our hearts for God. Parker said, that's easy because God takes up my whole heart. There is hardly any room for anything else because God takes up most of the space. AHHH! So sweet! It was so hard for me to not start crying and smothering him with kisses. (That would be so uncool of me- he's like almost 8. Actually, when the cool 11 year old neighbor is around, he's almost 11.)

The Bible in one Year...with Parker, cont.

It is funny to me what worries Parker about the story of Noah's ark. The Bible doesn't really go into all of the gory details of when God sends the flood and wipes out the earth. It is more of how good Noah is and how he is the new beginning. We did go into a little about why God was angry with his human creation and I tried to describe what it would have been like to have a flood like that come. He wasn't really worried about the destruction of the earth or people and animals drowning or any of that. In fact, he seemed to think that God made the right decision by punishing the human race. He was more concerned with how all of the animals behaved on the ark and where they pooped! He thought it would be scary to live for 150 days with scorpions, lions and snakes everywhere. Not to mention where the elephants pooped! I had never thought of it that way and really, I guess I can't be upset about it. At least I know he is listening, although I can see that exact moment while I'm reading when his thoughts go off somewhere else. And then he raises his hand to tell me his thoughts as I'm trying to read on. He can't move on to the next verse until he has gotten out what is bothering him.
It is just so cool because at the end of each lesson, there is a really short prayer that I always have him read and then we discuss it. He had gotten to where he was not wanting to pray in front of me and he said he did it in private after I leave the room when he goes to bed. I don't want him to be embarrassed or shy about it so hopefully this will help. I usually get a good hug every night now too and he seems very happy and snuggly which I love. I think this is going to be a great thing for us and I will be all prepared for when it is time to do it all over again with Garrett and June!

The Bible in 1 year...with Parker

As a 34 year old, I am very ashamed to admit that I have never totally read the Bible all the way through. While I have read many parts of it, I have always felt like I should know it much better but for some reason I have never made the time. How awful of me! I have a guide that gets you through it in 1 year. I have started it many times and life always gets in the way of me finishing it. I find myself falling asleep and not really paying attention on many nights. My mind wanders to the tasks for the next day and what I didn't get accomplished that day. So, I decided, very selfishly I guess, to invite Parker to take this journey with me. I knew there would be a lot of explaining, a lot of him not paying attention and I suspected, quite a bit of me having to manipulate certain areas to be less adult for his sweet little 7 year old ears. What I didn't expect was the amazing conversations and insight that he has already given me after only 7 days and how much more I am actually getting out of it than when I read it alone. I realize this is a huge thing to ask of a 7 year old but it has gotten me actually excited about reading the Bible every night. What a blessing it is to be a parent and have such an amazing child that can sit and listen and discuss the Bible. Granted, his discussions wander sometimes but I have to write about our discussions so that I can remember and learn from all of this. He is just amazing.
We start at Genesis, of course. I would imagine that the concept of there being nothing on the earth could be very confusing to a kid. Like, there are no Wii's or houses or roads or anything. So as we discuss the 6 days that God created the earth and how there was nothing until God breathed life into it, I could tell Parker had questions. I attempted explaining how some people, mostly scientists, (and forgive me, I am not a scientist or really that knowledgeable about the big bang theory) say that God did not create the earth. They believe that a big bang happened one day and that earth was created. So he asked, "so they must not believe in God?" I tried to explain that, while some of them might believe in God in one way or another, they might not believe that he created the earth and all that is living on it. I continued on by saying but how could that be? Who else could have created the earth and people and all of the fascinating creatures and how could one explosion do that? So he said, "I thought scientists were smart. But if they don't believe in God or that God did all of that then they are not very smart at all!" Amen little man!
Parker was very concerned about the whole Adam and Eve story. He was a little upset that the serpent wasn't written in more, not because he wanted the devil around more, but he really really likes snakes. He liked that God punished the serpent for tricking Eve by crawling on the ground and eating dirt. "That's what snakes do! God did that! That is a good punishment!" Like a lightbulb went off in his head!  And, I cant remember how he worded it but something along the lines of girls getting boys in trouble... oh! He so totally already gets it! We talked about the meaning of temptation and he said like how he might would want to take something from the store but then God would make him go to Hell. That brought up the conversation about his first reconciliation and how he will be going to confess all of his "sins" to the priest soon. With panic and worry written all over his face he says, "I am not getting into Heaven." I reassured him that God is good and forgives, especially sweet little boys that read the Bible with their mommy. :)

My favorite things

I've always heard that your child's Kindergarten year would be some of your best memories of their childhood. Maybe I just set my expectations too high but I had a really weird school year. Parker did great, a few minor hiccups (come to think of it, those would make a pretty hilarious post) but he flew through the year like a champ. Great grades and only a few disciplinary learning experiences. I was the one with anxiety about school, homework, friends, getting stickers and everything not going perfectly. It taught me a lot about Parker and myself and we both grew together. Awww. Maybe by the time June is in Kindergarten, I will have it perfected!
I have been noticing things lately that I just absolutely adore about my little Hoffman boys and I feel like these little moments are going to slip right out of my mind if I don't get them down. How tragic would that be!
My favorite thing Garrett is doing right now is pretend reading. He will get some instructions out for Hot Wheels or something and sit down, very seriously and begin "reading" them to me. He puts his first finger on the words and starts, "First you put the sing (thing) on the top of the sing and next you get zat piece and put it over zere." He will go on like this until I attempt to make whatever it is he is instructing me to make. He wants to be like his big brother so badly.
He is also still saying "I'm firsty" and "lellow". His latest, and my personal fave is bessert.Pretty much after every meal he needs his bessert. Too cute. His whining is also making me nuts but he has the best pouty face. I have never seen a bottom lip stick out so far and then turn back to a smile equally as fast. Finally, after 2 kids I am getting the hang of how to get their minds off of their serious troubles and stop the whining. June doesn't stand a chance!
Parker is losing teeth like crazy and it has been so much fun. I can't stand to have a tooth just hanging there and the build up to it falling out is hilarious. He was brave and let me pull the first few but now I think he remembers all of the blood and he tries to stay away from me. I try to threaten all sorts of things, losing it in his sleep, swallowing it, having to wear a tutu like the tooth fairy, etc. He has lost 8 so far and thank goodness they are all coming in just in time for school to start. I know he is going to want to look good for all of the first grade girls. He is growing up too fast. One day, he just started bathing himself. I filled up the tub and the next thing I knew, he was in his pj's and had washed his hair and gotten clean and emptied the tub and dried off all by himself. I'm grateful for this but when did everything change? And, I love that my almost first grader is doing negative numbers, and multiplication and division. It is so fascinating to watch how his brain works and how I explain things too slowly for him. If he only had someone good at math showing him new things, oh the places he could go!
The boys have also been being so sweet to each other. Before school was out, Garrett would ask when we were going to get Parker all day long and once he was home, they would go upstairs and play nicely for about an hour together. SWEET FREEDOM! It finally happened. Not much past one hour would I start hearing fighting but, man, what an improvement from Parker not wanting to be in the same room as Garrett just a short time ago. Parker has been great at "teaching" Garrett too. I heard them up there reading the other day and Parker was trying to get Garrett to read. He said, "Garrett, you know this word, it's easy. Sound it out. It's h-e-l-i-c-o-p-t-e-r." Garrett said, "Um, no Parker, I can't read." Both of the boys are so sweet about June getting here. We have had a great summer just relaxing and playing. I wish I could bottle these memories forever, especially the ones where they are scheming together and not completely harassing each other. Another summer is almost gone and the craziness will begin. Back to school for Parker, then for Garrett and then very very shortly after, June will be here, adding to the chaos. I just pray I have time to enjoy it all and make the most of every second. 

Saturday night, putting the boys to bed a little later than normal, I decided it would be a good idea to change their clock and move it forward 2 hours to see if that would keep them in bed a little later. They normally won't come down until 7am on the dot. They sit and watch the clock. I've heard them in there talking about it. So, I figured they will either just sit and talk for two hours or come down when their clock says 5 anyway because they are used to getting up at that time everyday.

Daddy also discussed with Parker before bed how he needs to start listening better and being sweeter to mommy. One thing that would make mommy happy is if he cleaned his room everyday. In fact, he said, if you happen to get up early in the morning, you can try to do that for her. Parker said he would probably forget by then.

So, at 6:45, of course I'm up because the kids are asleep. Like clockwork, right at 7 I hear the boys coming down. :( But this particular morning, Parker stops on the stairs and says, "I decided we needed to wake up at 5 this morning because our room is really messy and it's gonna take us a while to get it clean. We just can't reach the fan light so can you help us turn it on and we will get started. I know it's not time to get up yet, we just can't see what we are doing." Awww. Now I feel bad. But I went and turned the light on and shut the door. Garrett didn't last long but Parker stayed up there for almost an hour. I finally went and checked on him and his room was spotless! I had a mix of happy/guilty emotions and I gave him a big hug for being so sweet. Somedays I wonder if he loves me with the smart mouth that he has recently acquired but now I know he does. :)